Please note, this page is under construction, therefore, you may see some unfinished parts as I continue to write my personal experience as a living donor.
My Kidney Donation Journey
Before I Knew the Weight of It
October
In 2016 I decided that I wanted to see the world and travel. A friend of mine lived in Australia at the time and invited me to move out. A pretty big move for me since I'd never lived anywhere outside of Central Illinois. In December I applied for a working holiday visa and purchased a non-refundable, one-way ticket for a September departure. I felt like 9 months was enough time to sell/give away my life's accumulation of belongings and finish my U.S. bucket list before leaving for what could be forever. Shortly after, a friend of mine reached out on social media regarding the need for a kidney. I was curious to see if I could help, but I went into the process assuming any kind of a match had to be phenomenally specific and estimated the odds to be around 10%. The first step towards determining compatibility is the easiest. I simply had to get my blood type. I quickly discovered that blood-type matching and compatibility doesn't work at all the way I thought.
To find my blood type, I donated blood at the American Red Cross and discovered that I am an O+. This puts me in a not-so-exclusive club of cool people because O+ blood type is compatible with the other + blood types and occurs in about 30% of the population. Although it is not as rare as some of the other types, one of the nurses described it being "as valuable as gold" because it generally runs out first. My intended recipient's type was A+ which also occurs in approximately 30% of the population. So, instead of only a 10% likelihood of being a match, the odds were actually very good.
For more information about blood types and some very informative graphics, I recommend visiting the Red Cross website here: https://www.redcrossblood.org/donate-blood/blood-types.html
I was surprised by the results, but willing to move forward. At this point, I actually thought that there would be some other kind of disqualifier on the way and this process wasn't yet really real to me.
Testing and Preparation
January-May 2017
Once the hospital received the blood type information and confirmed it was a good match, I was asked to undergo several other tests to ensure that I was compatible, but also healthy enough to donate. These included blood, urine, a chest x-ray, MRI, and a psych evaluation. During the psych evaluation, I was asked to confirm that I would be financially and occupationally able to take 3-6 weeks off of work. To be honest, I lied. I had two jobs, one full time and one part time. The full time job would not allow me to take any time off (not even a day). I easily told my then-employer that I would quit over this (while thinking it would be a terrible PR issue for it to be publicized that they refused to allow an employee to take time to donate a kidney). In the spirit of full transparency, the company was AT&T and I would love for there to be some kind of backlash over this. None of it mattered anyway because I was leaving the country in September.
Another question asked in the evaluation was geared toward my motivation. I had to confirm several times that I was not receiving any kind of payment (in the U.S., it is illegal to sell organs). The doctor also mentioned that the most common type of donor would be a woman in her 50's, because she's already had kids, established in her career, and has family to care for her. The doctor asked why I wouldn't consider waiting to donate. This question really startled me and still seems quite dumb. My friend needed help now, not 25 years from now. I was able to help right now. How would waiting be helpful? I eventually passed the psych eval and all of my medical tests came back with excellent results.
After a small hiccup with birth control (I had an implant which the surgeon required be removed), I was given the go-ahead between March and April. The next step would be to schedule the procedure. It was starting to become more real now and I'd since gotten another full-time job, but hadn't told them about any of my plans (kidney donation or leaving the country). But, while I was (mostly) ready to go, the issue of my intended recipient's health began to arise. He still had tests that needed to be completed, but since they were specialty, scheduling was put off for weeks at a time. We had originally planned for the procedure to take place in May which quickly went into June and finally by July, he still would not be ready.
An Unexpected Turn of Events
July 2017
​
I finally told my company about the anticipated surgery and we were examining my work from home options when I received a call from the nurse saying that there would be no way to donate and to have the required 6 weeks of recovery before leaving the country. I briefly thought about extending my departure, but my intended recipient refused. He didn't want to bear the guilt that this whole thing would postpone my larger life plans.
So. That was it. I couldn't donate. I got off of the phone and felt what I can only describe as the most disgusting mix of emotions. First, I was relieved. I had pushed the limits of my capacity for kindness and didn't have to go any further. I was embarrassed at my relief too. What a cowardly response to see the steps I'd taken as boxes checked to feel like I'd "done the right thing". But I was also devastated. What a privilege it was to be in a position to truly help change someone's life, and it all fell through in the end. What a waste of my literal blood and tears (I cry when giving blood or pretty much doing anything at the doctor's office, so there had been a lot of tears up to this point). What a waste of a kidney for it to sit in my body and do nothing for someone else.
A Big Decision
July 2017
​
The next day was a huge turning point. The nurse called back and said that there was still a way I could help. I could participate in a paired exchange program. This was set up for exactly my situation where I, as a donor, am ready and able, but my recipient is not. There are lots of people who find themselves in similar situations. Where timing or distance or compatibility serve as barriers to donation. Participating in the paired program meant that I would give my kidney anonymously to someone who has a person willing to donate on their behalf. In the case of one pair, it is an exchange, but it is possible to create a chain over multiple pairs.
